“Big Sister TIMES TWO???”
YES! Let me catch you up to speed.
We started the adoption process in January 2015 after much prayer, waiting, and many tears. We had seemingly hit a brick wall in trying to have another biological child, and were shown that maybe our dream of adoption shouldn’t wait for the distant future. The Lord lifted our eyes and changed our direction!
Since July 2015, we have been waiting for a call from multiple agencies, all facilitated by Christian Adoption Consultants. Prayers for our baby have been lifted up by Kristen, Alex, myself, and a remarkable community of family, friends, and financial supporters. So many people have helped us in the process of bringing our baby home and we are forever grateful.
But every time we talked with our daughter about the adoption, she corrected us. We would say “Are you excited about meeting baby sister OR baby brother?” And Alex would inevitably correct us and respond, “Baby sister AND baby brother.”
Kristen and I would smile, encourage her, and then try to explain that it would most likely be just one baby coming home.
Turns out, our little keenly observant – and often bizarrely intuitive – prophetess was on to something.
THAT’S RIGHT, we’re totally pregnant and totally adopting – TWO babies!
I’ll never forget getting the text from Kristen that simply read, “Can you come home early?” This was not an abnormal request. Maybe she needed to run to the store? Maybe Alex had gone full “Beast mode” and she was simply calling in reinforcements? Maybe she had seen an episode of “Fixer Upper” that was a particularly poignant analogy for our relationship? There was no way to tell. So I tried my best to finish up everything at work and made it home in about 30 minutes.
I knew something was wrong as soon as I saw her at the threshold. She was simultaneously mournful and terrified. “Oh no, what’s wrong?” She fought through tears to form the words.
Shocked (and, let’s be honest, pretty bad with social cues), I said “…THEN WHY ARE YOU CRYING???”
My insensitivity reflected much of what my dear wife has felt for the past year and a half. She had longed for another biological child, yet had given that dream over to God and begun to pray differently. Now, we were ready for our child to come through adoption. And so the day we found out that we were pregnant was, for a moment, a day of mourning. Kristen wasn’t mourning over the fact that we were going to welcome a child into our home. She was mourning because she thought that meant saying goodbye to the child whom God had chosen for us through adoption.
Looking back, I understand. But in the moment, I didn’t exactly provide the listening ear and shoulder to cry on. I said, “BABE, why can’t we still adopt?”
And so we are. We are 6 months waiting and 4.5 months pregnant.
The only words I have is that we are forever thankful for these two little ones entrusted to us! And forever thankful for your support for our growing family – through your prayers, your gifts, and your encouragement.
Zack is right, I needed some time to process everything over the past few months – a rollercoaster of a ride that brought me to my knees and my control to a hault. But once I did, what a picture I was able to see- TWO children individually longed for and prayed for so long! Two that the Lord knew would come into our lives in two unique ways. Two unique stories but both pointing to His faithfulness and His mercy through adopting us into His family.
To say it lightly, we are OVERJOYED!
As we have shared with friends and family, we have had a lot of questions come up. Here are the answers to a few:
- Are you still adopting? I think that’s already been answered but to add more clarity, the answer is a big YES! Adoption is a call – one that we knew we had from an early stage of our marriage. And oh how I am thankful that the Lord orchestrated the timing to begin it when we did- to reach the specific child He has planned for our family. He is now just growing us in an additional way! Owens Baby #1 through my belly, Owens Baby #2 through adoption.
- Does this affect the adoption plans? Yes and No. We see even more how the Lord has directed us with the answers to this question. Many adoption agencies require a long wait. But CAC so graciously has no limitations to the growth on a family! So it’s up to us – and yes, we can’t wait to have two children close in age! The affect that it may have is on a birthmother choosing our family – it could lengthen the process. We have updated our profiles and agency information but are still waiting for a birthmother to choose our family for her child. That timing is uncertain so we are still in the waiting stages for the “Call”.
- When are you due? April 13th, 2016, is the tentative date for bringing home sweet Owens baby #1! Who is, by the way…. A baby BOY!!
- Which baby will come first? This is a harder question. Initially, our hopes were that our adopted baby would come by the end of 2015 but the further we are getting in the pregnancy, we have realized the reality that our biological baby may be here first. But as you know, this journey is a rollercoaster ride, SO who knows!! We are up for either and preparing a nursery for twins! J
He is writing His Story:
My crying anthem is that…the Lord is faithful, even in my unfaithfulness!
For so long I prayed for our family to continue to grow. For Alex to have a sibling and to hold another infant in my arms. We prayed and prayed and heard no response. I remember reading the reminders of Scripture and weeping over them at times, lacking in my faithfulness, and trying to remember the faithfulness of the Lord to Abraham and Sara, to generations of His people. Through this time, He brought me to my knees. He directed our steps – not toward my plan but towards Himself. I lost my control – something that I had no idea was blinding me for so long. Oh how I can see it now – what I couldn’t see in the beginning.
“I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away. What other answer would suffice?” -C.S. Lewis
He is our answer. So for all the women who are waiting, those we grieved with, those who have lost, I have felt in my soul parts of your pain. And I know that our story is a reminder in some ways of that pain. But I also pray that it is a story of God’s faithfulness – a reminder that He is our answer. A reminder that He loves His children.
Thank you for sharing in this story with us! We can’t wait to continue to watch it unfold – both the hard times and the sweet times ahead.